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Hey can I have that cake


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cute
flaimdra
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live on hold
cute
flaimdra
he was floating in a white nothingness
blind and numb to everything around him
not aware of time passing
not aware of people talking to him urging him to eat, drink or try tosleep.
it had been 19 days
459 long hours since he felt his own heart stoping at the sight of Rodney, lying pale and lifeless in his own blood.
Since Carson yelled to his medics to charge the defi again after the failed attempt.
27.537 Minutes since Carson said that Rodney was stable.
Stable but in a coma and they didn't have the slightest clue as to when he would wake
1.651.020 seconds sitting at the bedside of the one person he cared most about in the universe.
Each and every one of them filled with praying, hoping to be able to see those incredibly blue eyes opening again.
Wishing for a chance to say I love you Rodney.
Even if it would mean he would lose the best friendship he ever had
but he would not have to live with the regret that was burning him up now.
his feelings would be out there -heared and aknowleged.
up until this point he had thought that unreqired Love was the thing that hurt the most
but he had since come to realise
that unrequred love may burn your heart to ashes but unvoiced love,
a love not even aknowleged by himself till those fatefull three minutes in which Rodney wasn't alive -- in which he simply wasn't
that such a love froze your very soul to your innermost core
that such a love made you care about nothing anymore because your world had almost endet
everything was inconsequental, in fact the world could be falling apart around him and he wouldnt give a damn
nothing mattered but the steady rise and fall of a chest and the reashuring beep of a heartmonitor
his live had been put on a hold because he had to be there when Rodney woke

safe in his arms
cute
flaimdra
so I was bored today at work and wanted to pass the time so i decided i should try my hand at writing.
this is what came out.

not betad

Title: safe in his arms
Autor: Flaimdra
Disclaimer: nothing is mine and no money is made

It was easy to forget what had happened while he lay in John‘s arms. Easy to forget the pain. He felt secure here – almost as if he were lying in a Lovers arms – and wouldn’t that be a dream come true for John to be his lover?

Outside the welcoming circle of Johns arms the world consisted of hatred and pain and fear, but in here nothing could touch him, nothing could harm him.

Rodney had always thought so and now that theory was proven right.
Ronon was shouting something but it was hard to concentrate.

He felt so weak.

Also the roaring in his ears made it kind of hard to hear him too.
There was red light flickering above him and part of Rodney knew that it was Ronons Pulsepistol and he should get up and help push the enemy back , clear a way to the gate, but he could not get himself to leave the warmth of Johns arms.

He was so cold and John was so very warm, and full of life, and he felt safe in his arms.

Also Teyla was already well on her way to the gate, and he didn’t even knew who the enemy was and where it was eluded him too.

All he knew –
all he remembered was that the where on their way back from a stupid Outpost where the stupid Alterans where studying flowers – FLOWERS for god’s sake – and where they had just wasted a significant amount of his very valuable time downloading the data for the stupid flower project of some stupid Ancient Hippie – time which would have been better spend improving Atlantis Systems – which he was making heard clearly and then the next thing he Knew there was a burning pain in his chest and he fell.

The others had immediately started shooting back, which was when he realized that he’d been shot.

But that was not the point at the moment. The point was that he wanted to stay close to John, safe in his arms, and this was probably the only chance he’d ever have to be allowed to have this.

Darkness was starting to creep in, even the sheen of the open Wormhole spilling Marines and Carson out o fit couldn’t push it back and Rodney wanted to just let it engulf him and let sleep claim him but John wanted him to stay awake. John had desperately begged him to stay awake and he’d tried.
He’d tried so hard but he couldn’t anymore

He’d lost all his strength.

He tried to apologize to John, wanted to say sorry but he couldn’t see John anymore. He knew that John had to be near him but he couldn’t even feel him anymore.

There was nothing there but that terrible all engulfing Darkness coming ever nearer. He fought it with all the strength that he had left , but it was too strong.

His last Thoughts were of John and how he wasn’t even brave enough to tell him that he loved him,
and then the Darkness won and there was nothing anymore.

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